I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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