i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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