I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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