do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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