she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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