holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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