FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Someone came in the potted fern
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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