that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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