if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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