the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
