Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize