I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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