this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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