he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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