When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
