So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
