Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
