So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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