I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
