Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
