yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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