He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
zippers are such a cool invention
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
