apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Randomize
