We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
