$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
