That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
