Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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