is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
