do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
