Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
