What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
