I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
