so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
