Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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