i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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