I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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