My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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