trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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