you guys were way drunker than both of me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I want a musical about memes.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
