We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
