You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize