I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
what is it with giant penises always finding me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
