It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
