Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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