oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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