Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
