Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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