Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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