Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
