How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
