man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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