Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
