Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
