"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
