If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
