I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
