Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
