I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
