I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize