you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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