this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
