i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
